In My Own Perfect World

thoughts from a tiny voice

Archive for the tag “rude”

“In the Wrong” or “Give Them a Chance”

I’ve met two kinds of people today under similar circumstances that behaved in totally opposite ways. But before I get to that, let me preface this. I’ve been watching a lot of old films from the 1930s, ’40s, and ’50s and have noticed that people were not afraid to express themselves to each other. If something was irritating or if someone was in the way, it was made known. The way people responded, however, was what interested me most. They didn’t get irritated with each other. They simply reacted in understanding, recognizing that other people have feelings and are effected by their environment and those around them. They didn’t take things personally.

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So, I got to thinking about that and how I behave with others, particularly strangers. If someone gets in my way, I would generally get irritated and hold my anger in rather than say anything. If they cut me off in traffic, same thing. If someone acts in a way that isn’t considerate of others or, specifically, me, I would just alter my own plans to accommodate whilst harboring anger toward them for being rude, thus causing tension and anxiety within myself. Then it occurred to me that it was not only unhealthy for me, but it was not considerate of others. I wasn’t giving them the opportunity to recognize and act on their actions nor to improve their future behavior. By expressing myself like they did in the old movies, but improved with love and kindness, I could at the very least not cause anxiety in myself. So here’s how that worked out today.

I’m at the laundromat. I went in to get a cart to more easily haul my laundry from the car. On the way out, a man had parked right in front of the door, blocking the only ramp. I paused, looking for another easy path. He closed his truck’s door and said, “Are you going by?” I responded, “Well, I was planning on using the ramp.” I pointed to it. He said he’d help me get the cart down the step, lifted it and placed it on the driveway. I said, “Thank you very much, but I’ll be coming back with a heavy load.” He was irritated and said, “Well, I’ll be gone by then.” I said, “Okay, well, thank you again.” Moment later I returned with my heavy cart and he hadn’t moved yet. I didn’t even have time to formulate another plan before he rushed over and picked my cart up onto the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I thought I’d be moved by now.” I thanked him profusely and told him how much I appreciated his help and how I understood his wanting to be close to the door. I wished him a good day and he smiled. It was then that I realized his earlier irritation wasn’t with me but with himself for his inconsideration. But my letting him know gave him the opportunity to make it right.

dancing137An hour later, I’m putting my items into dryers and have four dryers I’ve opened, three of which I’ve begun to fill. The fourth is above the one I’m currently working on. A man comes up and throws his towels in the one above my head. “Oh! I was just about to use that one,” I said. “Well,” he said, “I can’t read your mind. The dryer was empty and open so I took it.” And he continues to put his items inside. Now, I had given him the opportunity to behave with kindness, and he chose otherwise. Unfortunately for him, it would have been simpler to take dryers elsewhere because he wouldn’t have had to fight for working space with anyone. So, I removed my things from the lower dryer and moved them over to another and said to him, “Here. I’d be happy for you to take this dryer under yours so that you can keep all your clothes together.” The woman near me smiled in approval. The man angrily walked away then returned with more clothes and said, “So, which ones am I allowed to use?!” I bit my sarcastic tongue and said, “If you take those there we won’t be in each other’s way.” I smiled and left him alone, even as he criticized my every move after that and as I struck up a congenial conversation with the woman.

What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to be upset when something isn’t right or when I am not treated with respect.   Somehow in society we’ve taught ourselves that we shouldn’t get upset about things or, at the very least, that we shouldn’t show it.  We’ve got to hold it in.  But it’s human nature to have feelings.  If we temper them with thoughtful expression and don’t just fly off the handle, then I don’t see why it’s such a bad thing to express them.

These two guys today were probably not accustomed to anyone like me.  They weren’t accustomed to anyone pointing out their flaws, for one thing.  But it is certainly highly unlikely that they expected me to be thankful, kind, and generous in each prospective situation.  I’d like to think I’ve shown them another way to behave or made them more conscious of others, but I can’t be certain because I’ll likely never see them again.  What I am certain of is that I acted rightly and, in the process, saved myself a lot of undue stress and anxiety.  I gave these men an opportunity to act properly and did all I could do to improve these situations.  I’m satisfied with that.

So, in closing, it was an interesting study in human behavior today…including my own.

Love,
a tiny voice

couple-arguing-150211-300x300P.S.  As a side note, isn’t this what we do in relationships sometimes?  We don’t communicate things with one another — a partner’s habit we find annoying, the child’s toys repeatedly left out, or the loud music we play that disturbs other family members — because we are afraid of hurting them or damaging the relationship.  Imagine, however, if a line of communication about these things was formed — if a dialogue was established with truth and love so that an unspoken anger didn’t build  up between one another until nothing was left but resentment?  But that’s a topic for another day.

 

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Go Fetch! (The Short End of the Stick)

Your dog can go with you anywhere because s/he’s certified to help you with your need. You’re blind, you have a heart condition, you’re seizure-prone – whatever the condition you find yourself to be in need of a service dog, you are blessed. I am so happy that we are able to give “man’s best friend” even further purpose in this world. Really, really happy!  Dogs are fantastic and necessary to humankind.

Science has come a long way with these little furry friends of ours. They can predict earthquakes and bad weather, sniff out a bomb or drugs, can tell you if you have cancer, can find mold in your home; they alert you when the baby isn’t breathing or there’s a fire in the house; they help you hunt; they pull your sled; they guard your flock or herd and help you round them up; they guard your property; they protect you; they find you in the rubble of a fallen building. They do so much more than simply provide companionship.

Most of us never experience this kind of helpful dog. When it comes to our canine companions we are satisfied in the simple friendship they provide. We are content in petting their soft fur or being warmed by their little bodies as we sleep. They are our friends that we take hiking with us or play with in the park. They are a part of our families.

Dogs are truly God’s little gift to us. They do so much for us. And how do we repay them? We leave them at home or waiting for us in the car or even tied to post when we go the store. They can’t come. They can’t come in with us anywhere accept the occasional sidewalk café or the pet store or the park – well, some parks.

These little critters who love us so unconditionally are constantly left behind. Why is that?  Well, because of one incident here of a dog who bit someone at a public event or an occasion there where a woman complained because she was allergic to a stranger’s dog. I’m sure there have been a few unruly dogs (or selfish people) who have ruined it for the rest of all canine-kind. But it’s not right!

I will wait forever for you because you mean so much to me.

I will wait forever for you because I love you.

I’ll tell you one thing, I would rather be surrounded by wagging dogs than a crowd of people any day. Not that I’m averted  to spending time with people.  No, indeed!  I’m a social person just like anybody else.  But really if you want to compare qualities worth having, people will lose to dogs any day.  People who bathe in perfume/cologne and then shower us in their sneeze-inducing, runny-eye causing scent. People who think it’s okay to pollute other people’s lungs with their cigarette smoke. People who talk on their cell phones in the booth next to yours while you try to have a conversation with your date. People who allow their children to run wild, cry incessantly, or misbehave in public. People who yell at their children or have public disagreements with their friends. People who stink. People who eat their salad or hamburger with less manners than a baboon. People who express themselves with crude or offensive language, especially around children — especially to children! People who pickpocket or beat up on others.  People who grope us or say inappropriate things to us. And these are just the average people! I need not go into the major crime makers to prove my point.

In other words, I think they should have some generalized laws against humans in public. I mean, if we’re going with the logic that forms our laws about dogs, then it should follow suit that one annoying person should set a precedent for zero annoying people.

You know, I’d rather have a dog growl at me because he doesn’t like the color of my shirt or look down to find a Pomeranian humping my leg then deal with most people. I think dogs have gotten a bad rap – the short end of the stick. They do more for humans on a daily basis than most humans do for each other and they ask nothing in return but a little love and affection.

My tiny voice won’t make any changes, but it can bitch and moan a little bit and I’m okay with that for now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a dog to spend time with.

Sincerely,
a tiny voice

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